We Are:
Julia Rose, 30, Physician Assistant in orthopedic surgery
Tracy Shannon, 28, Clinical Psychology student

I told Tracy we were just going away for a nice weekend to celebrate our 6 yr anniversary. On Friday night after she got home from work she, myself and our two friends Lisa and Ben all piled into the car and we drove out to the coast of Maine. We arrived in Kennebunk, Maine around 7 or so. We checked into our Bed and Breakfast; The Captain Lord’s Mansion. We stayed in “the Harvest room.” It was amazing; there was a king size, four-poster bed, hard wood floors, flat screen TV, gas fireplace, huge Jacuzzi, shower and tub, heated bathroom floors, our own sinks, our own terry cloth robes, and a mini-fridge stocked with complimentary beverages. After exploring the inn, we all went to meet another friend Nikki at a restaurant called Bandaloops. We had great food with great friends and some live music to boot. The presence of our friends threw her off the trail right away.

We retired to our amazing suite only to rise Saturday morning to the pitter patter of raindrops outside. We ate breakfast at the inn and then I took her to the Breakwater spa to have a couples massage and pedicure. The whole experience was very luxurious. Afterwards there was a break in the rain and I asked her if she wanted to drive around town and see some sights. We drove up the road to see the Bush residence and then stopped to walk along the beach. There were a few other people out-and-about with their dogs on the beach. We walked out pier 6, which was all rocky, and she turned and said to me that if I ever  did want to propose that this would certainly be a beautiful place to do it. I said, “Well I’m glad you feel that way.” When she turned back around, I was down on one knee with the box open and a nice shiny rock in the box. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes! After several moments to compose ourselves we carefully made it off the rocks and back to the inn where we proceeded to call and text everyone. We had dinner reservations at the Cape Arundel Inn. We had a beautiful seaside window table with real candles and champagne waiting for us at the table.

Advice for Couples:
#1 DON’T: Invite friends, family, coworkers, neighbors simply because you feel obligated to invite them. DO: Invite the people who genuinely support you two as a couple. It’s ok to keep it smaller and more ntimate.
#2 Make decisions based on what you and your spouse want and not what others think.
#3 Remember to enjoy your day and don’t sweat the small stuff

Who else provided you with support?

Queerly Wed is proud to be an editorial partner of Two Bright Lights, a website for Wedding Industry professionals.

The Couple:
Erica Ciszek , age 24
Christina Raymond, age 31
Wedding Date: September 10, 2011
Where: Long Island, Maine

How We Met

In Erica’s Words:
Christina and I met during the summer of my senior year of college in Ogunquit, Maine. I was visiting a friend for the weekend. On Saturday afternoon I tagged along with my friend and headed to Ogunquit to a T-dance (a gay/lesbian afternoon or early-evening dance).

I limited myself to one beer, as I I had to drive back to Portland later that afternoon. I was a complete and total wallflower- I stood back and took everything in. There were older women in turtlenecks and mullet hairstyles. I haven’t seen anything like this before.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a brunette laughing with her friends. I caught her eye and we exchanged glances. It was clear that she had been there a few hours before me. She approached me confidently and we began chatting amidst the blaring music. I caught her name and where she lived. On my way out the door I told her that I would be in Portland later that night and maybe we could meet up. But alas, our paths did not cross.

The next day I was bound and determined to find this brunette. And what better way than the Internet and even better, MySpace. The only thing that I knew was her name and the town she lived in. I was going to sort through hundreds of Christina’s in Portland to find this girl…and, I found her. I scanned her profile in search of any obvious skeletons in her closet that I should run from. All I found were some photos of sand and palm trees and good times with friends.

I proceeded to write her a message- and this is how it read:

July 29, 2007

hey there lady,
I’m just trying to add you as a friend but can’t cause seems like i don’t know your last name or whatever i need to do that, guess i didn’t get around to that yesterday, hope you had a good time.
Erica

We chatted via the internet throughout the week and I finally mustered up the courage to ask her out on Friday with one small problem: I was back in Boston and she was still in Maine.

My friend Jen drove me up to Maine so I could go on a date with the brunette…and I played it off like I just happened to be in the area…
I showed up to Gritty McDuff’s in Portland for my date…but to my surprise Christina was accompanied by someone else…ok- this was not a date, shake it off…I quickly ordered a beer and tried to play it cool, and then ordered another beer…liquid courage, perfect.We then headed to a bar that had 2 for $1 Bud-Light…ok, more courage, I liked this.

The next day Christina (soberly) invited me back on Sunday to check out reggae on Sunday at Peaks Island. I agreed- no big deal, another 300 miles.

In Christina’s Words:

It was a hot summer day in July and some friends and I decided to drive to Ogunquit to enjoy the day and stop into the “white party” at Maine Street. After a couple of drinks and lots of dancing, I’m on the dance floor and glance over to see her standing there, confidently with her hands in her pockets. I remember the smile I got when I looked her way, and giddily smiled back. I walked over to her and we exchanged a few words. Shortly after, we parted ways but mentioned the possibility of meeting up in Portland later that evening. We never saw each other later that night, however I remember having to catch my breath when I logged into MySpace a couple days later to find a new message from her. She sent a short, sweet note saying it was nice to have met me the other night, and that she hoped to see me again. The MySpace message exchanges blossomed from there, as well as the text messages. We met in Portland later that week for a bite to eat, and then again that weekend when she drove from Boston to Maine and we went to Reggae Sunday on Peaks Island together. That was August 5, 2007. Since then, I followed her to Boston and most recently Oregon.

The Proposal

In Erica’s words:

Christina and I had made plans the day before to go out to dinner at our favorite little cafe in East Boston, Cafe 303. I knew I wanted to incorporate elements of who we are, and the special places and things that we do together. Christina and I love to play Scrabble in our free time, so I incorporated it into the proposal.

I sent a text to Edson Dias (a professional photographer), the daddy of the baby I sat for. A few months earlier, he offered to capture the proposal for me and I was finally ready to take him up on it.

I got to work that morning and couldn’t hold it in- I told everyone of my plans to propose that afternoon. Edson and I decided to meet up at Cafe 303 later that afternoon to talk about how the proposal was going to go down. I dropped off our Scrabble board to the cafe and placed it strategically on the counter. I slipped the ring in the tile bag.

Fast forward to 7:30 pm when we arrive at the café. I see Edson also walking into the cafe and decided to slow our pace, so he can get in there and set up. We sat by the window of the table that Edson and I discussed earlier, however, a couple sat in front of us and blocked Edson’s view. I mentioned to Christina that I needed to use the bathroom and then on my way back I nonchalantly walked over to retrieve the Scrabble board. I suggested to Christina that we should play, but she wanted to wait and order our food instead. I insisted that we played the game.

I began setting it up and then the wheels in her head started to turn. She recognized the board and thought that it oddly looks like ours. I convinced her that they (the café) must have a beat up board too. I drew a letter and then Christina drew a letter to see who would go first. We both drew letters with the same value, so we tried again. Except when Christina stuck her hand in the bag, she cheated and peaked in to the bag, hoping to snag a good letter.

She saw the ring, pulled it out and gasped. I got down on my knee and asked her “Will you grow old with me?”

In Christina’s Words:

It was, what I thought, a typical Wednesday evening. We had decided that morning that we would go to our favorite local café, Café 303, that night for dinner. We had a gift certificate to use before we moved cross-country, and I was craving a delicious meal from their eclectic menu and one of their tap brews to go with it.

I got home from work and debated whether or not I was up for going out. We knew we only had a short time to use our gift certificate before moving cross-country, so we headed out.

On our way to Café 303, we made a pit-stop at the drugstore to pick up a prescription for Erica. No sooner did she get back in the car and Beyonce’s “Single ladies” came on the radio. We both sang at the top of our lungs and danced silly on the way to dinner.
Upon arriving at the Café, I looked for a table among the crowd to the right, while Erica directed me to the left side of the café where there were no patrons, except for an oddly familiar looking man with his laptop sitting at a table near the bar. I remember feeling that something just didn’t feel quite right.

We proceeded to take our table and debated on what to order for drinks/food. This was when Erica indicated she was cold and asked me to switch seats with her. I couldn’t take my mind or eyes off the man sitting at the table behind us. After ordering our drinks and an appetizer, Erica excused herself to go to the restroom. I was staring at the man the entire time, while trying not to be too obvious.

When Erica returned from the restroom she had our favorite board game, Scrabble, in hand. “Seriously?” I said when she approached the table. I just wanted to enjoy my beer and some good food. I could tell she really wanted to play so we set up the game and started to draw letters to see who would go first.

The first pick was a tie so Erica went in for a second tile. When it was my turn to pick, my eyes went directly into the bag of letters where I instantly spotted an exquisite, shiny diamond staring at me. I remember saying “what is this?…what is this?” over and over. That was when Erica dropped to one knee and the photos started snapping. The oddly familiar man was actually Erica’s friend, Edson, who I’d only seen pictures of and never actually met.

After the proposal I was at a loss for words. I instantly broke into tears of joy and Erica had to finally ask me “is that a yes?” I’ll never forget how I felt at that moment. Following this, we couldn’t even think about food. We had a couple bites then went home and celebrated with some champagne.

*All photos are courtesy of Dias Photo (One of our vendors on Queerly Wed!)*

Are you recently engaged, or married? Would you like to share your story in Queerly Wed? Email us for more information!

Names: Kara Farmer and Lora Lehman

The story of how we met: Well, we actually met through a mutual friend of ours. I had been invited out for drinks with her (our friend), because I just needed to get out of the house. I was in the middle of a divorce with my second  husband (gee I wonder why) . Lora had also been invited out by our friend.

Kara’s version- When she arrived, there was just something about her that I could not get over. Lora has this really cute quirky sideways smirky smile that I thought was so cute. It was pretty instant that we started up a conversation. Lora made me feel so at ease and open, I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She made me laugh and we talked about everything. Probably way more deep than any “first meeting” conversation should be, but it was so easy. After the bar closed I had invited everyone to come back to my house to sing Karaoke. I have to say I was happy that only Lora showed up. LOL! Nothing happened I swear, but we talked all night until 6:15 the next morning. We spent the next week texting and calling each other all day everyday. Two weeks after we met we moved in with each other and as of 3-30-10 we will have been together for two years. She is the only person in this world that I have ever been able to be “me” around. We talk, I mean talk about everything. It really is a total two way street. There are times when I can’t give as much because I am run down or whatever, and she knows without me saying that she has to “pick up the slack” and vise versa.

Lora proposed on August 18th 2008, on bended knee at sunset. We love sunsets-Oh yeah…and I said yes. We had our commitment ceremony on 6/6/09 in a friends backyard at sunset.

What is the best/worst advice you got regarding your wedding or marriage? You know to be honest with you we don’t ever get any advice from our friends or family. I guess in a way that is a compliment because they always come to us for advice. Everyone says how “together” we are so I guess they feel we don’t need any.

What advice would you give to a couple planning their wedding? Please, please, please, remember that no matter what, it is your day. No matter who arrives, if the cake isn’t done right, the food isn’t good, your dress/tux is somehow not right, whatever. It all comes down to this: you love them and they love you and you have chosen to spend the rest of your lives together. At the end of the day that is the goal you achieved and it had nothing to do with anything else.

Would you recommend any of your vendors? Well of course I would recommend the vendors we used…because we did everything! Well, not everything, but most of it. I am a party planner on the side so I did all of the decorations, flowers, all of the little touches. We had a good friend of ours make all of our outfits (She does a great job), and Lora built the Unity Sand table and Guest sign in table. We made all of the food, and even did the music. I am also a DJ. Lora and I made a custom video with pictures of us growing up, then when we met, up to when we got engaged. It made for a good conversational piece, and people thought it was pretty funny looking at pictures of us as kids, or even going to the prom (poofy 90′s teal dresses and sideways pony tails…Yuck).  All Eyes on You Portraiture and Event Photography did all of our photography and did a great job!

My Father is a preacher so I really wasn’t sure if he would come, but he told me yes. He didn’t actually get to come because of another issue, but I know he would have been had that not happened. Lora’s family was there, even her very religious Mom and Dad. It was awesome. At the end when we did the receiving line, she came up to me and said, “Well, daughter, welcome to the family”. I was so touched that she said that.

The last thing that I would want to say is, I could not be happier for the first time in my life. Yes, we have our issues as any couple does, but I know at the end of the day she loves me with her whole heart, and I love her the same. I can count on her, and I know she will always be there for me, and treat me like I know I deserve to be treated.

Lora’s version- As Kara said, we met through a mutual friend on a night out for drinks.  When I met Kara, I was so drawn to her.  There was just something about her…. her amazing smile, her beautiful eyes and just the way she looked at me. I wanted to be close to her and I felt so comfortable around her.  Although I am a very shy person when I first meet someone, I wasn’t with Kara.

The first week that we knew each other, neither of us knew how we felt about each other. It was a week with a lot of flirting on both ends and ongoing conversation about our lives. The signs were there, but we were both afraid to “bite.”

After that first week, we were texting and through texts our true feelings about each other were discovered.  We got together for dinner that night and at the end of the evening we shared our first kiss.  I don’t know if you know what it is like to have that giddy high school girl crush feeling, but I would have to say that would be the best way to describe our first kiss.  I went home that night on cloud nine.  Every time I was around Kara, my stomach would have butterflies and when she looked at me a certain way or said something or touched me, my stomach would flip and it felt like my heart stopped each time.

Once we moved in together, it was like my life had changed for the good. We went out and furnished our home together. I finally felt like the person I had been striving to be for such a long time.  With Kara, I feel like that missing piece to my life was finally found and put into place. It was the first time in my life that I felt “home.”

Despite being burned a number of times, I didn’t fear anything with her.  It was like an amazing comfort and assurance with her. From day one, Kara has had this way about her that without a word being said or any action of affection, I knew that I could trust her and I would be loved as much as I loved her.  We have had our share of ups and downs.  I will say that without her, these trials would have been so much more difficult. She has helped me realize so much about myself and those around me.

On May 2nd, 2008 I had been shopping and I found a ring that I liked and wanted to give to her as a promise ring. She was sitting at the piano and I took her hand, got down on my knee and told her how much she meant to me and that I wanted to make a promise to her that she was the one and only for me.  I gave her the promise ring and I could see the tears of joy forming in her eyes.

After being together for awhile longer, I decided that I wanted to actually propose to her. I went to the following website and found her engagement ring.  www.gaystores.org (This is where we found our rings. They are really nice rings for those who are on a tight budget.) Once I had received her ring, I again was nervous but better this time at covering it up. On August 18th, 2008 I convinced Kara to stop doing the dishes and come outside with me to watch the sunset.  I wrapped my arms around her and watch the sunset for a bit.  I stepped back and got down on my knee and told her how much she meant to me and asked her to marry me.  Of course, she said yes. Yea me!!  At that point the wedding plans were in full swing.

The advice I would give to anyone is to not take on more than you can handle.  It was pretty stressful in the months leading up to the ceremony. Just be understanding with each other and communicate.  Also remember that it is “your” day and to enjoy it no matter what obstacles are thrown your way. And of course we both agree that it doesn’t hurt to have a wonderful photographer such as Suzanne from All Eyes on You (a featured vendor on Queerly Wed!).  Not only did she capture our special day, she has become a very special person in our lives.

Thank you for allowing us to share our “fairy-tale” love with you.  This is something we both never thought we could have.

*All photos are courtesy of All Eyes on You Portraiture and Event Photography (a featured vendor on Queerly Wed!)*

Are you recently engaged, or married? Would you like to share your story in Queerly Wed? Email us for more information!