Ask Nana: How Do I Communicate My Needs?

Dear Nana,
How do you communicate your needs to your partner without sounding like you are complaining? I feel like every time I try to express my needs, I end up feeling guilty for being a nag.
-Sam in NY
Dear Sam,
Look, as my bubbe used to say “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at [...]

Dealing With In-Laws

Dear Shai,
I guess I would appreciate some coping strategies for handling in-laws. I don’t think it is my place to tell my in-laws how they should do things now that I am part of their family- I’m going into their world and their space. But, at the same time, some of their ways drive me [...]

Can a Relationship Without Sex Succeed?

Dear Shai,
Can real romantic love exist between two people in a couple that don’t have sex/make love often? I mean, like having sex every six months or so. What’s happening when neither of them requests it of the other? They kiss and are affectionate, but just don’t have sex. It’s just that one of them [...]

Partner v. Family – What to do?

Dear Shai,
How can I support my partner and his personhood, yet support my family (mom, dad, siblings) and their traditions/ways of living when they are at odds? I feel like I am spending a lot of time explaining why my partner does things and “marketing” his good qualities to my family, who questions him out [...]

Raising Open-minded Children

Dear Shai,
I am wondering how we can teach kids to be supportive and open to all types of relationships and also be supportive of them and their own personal journey? Thanks, N. in Chicago
Dear N,
It’s actually amazing to see how open minded and sponge-like kids can be.  When young enough, parents can have a great [...]

Ask The Therapist – Keeping The Spark Alive

How can we keep the fire (sexually) in our relationships? We all know trying new things but as time goes on, how can we keep the spark that first attracted us?
This is such a common and often scary experience for couples. Sexual contact with your partner, both what kind of sex you have, how often, [...]

Ask The Therapist #2

Help! My Girlfriend Has Six Cats!
Q: What if you HATE cats and your girlfriend has quite a few?
A: Compatible lifestyle choices are an important aspect in every relationship. This doesn’t meant that you both have to have the exact same desires and ways of living your individual life, but that as a couple you can [...]